British Politics Gothic

Some creepy funnies via cardboardmoose on tumblr:

  • thatcher is dead. you saw them put her in the ground, you remember, you know. but you turn on bbc parliament and there she is, sitting between cameron and osborne. she turns to the camera and bares her teeth. it is not a smile.
  • you try to eat a bacon sandwich, but it falls from your hands. you spill a cup of tea down your front. your voice is different somehow. your brother–did you always have a brother?–no longer speaks to you. you look in the mirror and see dark hair and an awkward smile. you start to scream, but it is too late.
  • the queen is speaking, and you do not understand. no-one in the house of lords seems concerned as the words writhe from her mouth. blood drips from their ears, but still they smile and nod. you try to turn off the television but it will not stop. it will never stop.
  • black rod has come to the house. the knocks on the door echo from the ceiling vaults. soon the room will be empty.
  • you have been summoned to the whip
  • the prime minister has gone to see the queen. people are holding candlelit vigils for his memory. “perhaps this one will return”, you say, but your mother shakes her head. the corgis looked thin this morning.
  • the seats must be filled. the seats must be filled. they did not say by what. o god, they did not say.
  • the people of your marginal constituency are prepared this time. they have shored up the walls, laid the pit traps, taken the children to a safe place. the ground rumbles. they are coming. they are coming.
  • the conservatives have a majority

3 responses to “British Politics Gothic

  1. Comrades, suggest you run a spell check on your sub heading:-) i.e “conscious” not “concious”.

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